returning d is leaving

i know i should be posting but haven't done so. there's too much and always much more to blab on about. n u know when i do .... i go on and on. verbosity is an understatement when it comes to me.

nonetheless, for some reason, i feel like i have this yearning to speak to everyon and get in touch with everyone, now that i'm leaving. it's retarded. i'm always more motivated when i'm under pressure. i wish i can learn to hold onto my motivation as it comes and act on it as impulsively as i am with food and more food.

my life is scattered with priorities, and that in and of itself is ironic in every sense of the word, "priority". yeeeeah shmaes.

so i'm leaving the country in 2 weeks. n i'm going thru lots of reflection and personal growth, as always, but this is definitely one of the more defined milestones, if that makes any sense at all.

actually the one blog, i've updated is: otherasian.blogspot.com. i owe that one a touch. it's had only one post. i hope much of what i've done does not come to resemble me in all of my life. because i'm quite scattered. i get started on one thing, n then the next thing, i end up elsewhere, and it's another 100 years until i return to the first thing, but nonetheless, i returned. n that's what matters right????

i'm not quite sure if i'm completely satisfied with myself being that way, i'm sure it has its repercussions. but u know i have come to accept it. many of the goods and bads of me. but those things are never just the one thing. they're actually intertwined in so much of who i am and what i am. i'm all of it at once and they're not too far apart from each other, but not completely one thing either.

n i suppose i live on. and improvise. touch-up every so often, and someday it'll be the masterpiece i envisioned, or simply close enuf...for me n those i love :D